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Oops. Let's Do That Again.

So everything went smoothly with things up until it was about 19:20 and time for my break at work. For the two-and-almost-a-half hours I'd been in (yeah, it's a bit of a silly cow of a time to have a break when you start at 17:00 but it was one of those "take the break or you'll be waiting ALL THE HOURS for one" evening shifts thanks to...

  • Cheltenham Festival/races ending and people pouring back into the neighbouring villages, one of them being ours,
  • it being the Friday before today's St. Patrick's Day (funny how suddenly everyone has like 0.000083% Irish ancestry, no?) which meant a lot of pre-drinking and belly-lining with greasy food to hopefully minimise alcohol-induced urkiness in the dawn of a new day.

But I digress. All day, I'm good. No hunger, no nothing. Then I go to work, get assigned on the assembly line and smell food for two-plus hours. By now my body has gone, "hey wait a minute, that's what's missing. Food! Give food!!!"

So, as we do, I crumble and make myself break food -- nothing insanely greasy or anything but then I forget that I'm digestively-disabled (despite having this very same issue a few nights back on an over-night), shove spicy mayo on that baby and get salsa for my side dish. By the time 22:00 rolls around, my chest feels like I'm about to deliver an alien baby through it.

Thankfully I was given the fairly repetitive no-brain assignment of batch cooking and then put on breakfast prep before my shift ended so I could focus on that instead of having to run around like a headless chicken with +20 Heartburn from Hell.

And now, at 4:30 I woke up to throw up bile (you're welcome!). I'm researching ways to flush without the hunger becoming too horrible. I know that after three days you no longer feel it due to ketosis but three days is a long time to be without food and working in a fast food family-friendly restaurant with free food for employees. I might just try meal replacements.

Too bad it's now Saturday and my flush supervisor isn't available until Monday.



Bile, Bye

DISCLAIMER: This is not a post advocating fasting or flushing for weight loss. It has no long-term effects on weight! This is an attempt at actively supervised natural healing that will then help me get back on track with my diet once completed and the pain in my body is gone -- obviously the surgical removal of the stones is the absolute last option for me. Don't ever fast without medical supervision and without having extensive medical testing done first to make sure you don't, you know, actually drop dead. Thank you.
And yes, I am taking supplements for vitamins and minerals so I don't develop any deficiencies. Worry not.  ♥
With spring just around the corner, it was only a matter of time before my body decided that it was time to spice things up with a few health issues.

This year's offering is nothing new under the Sun: failing to find something new and trendy, the Universe decided to rely on an old favourite... my body's irritating superpower of creating gallstones even after I had my gallbladder removed back in December 2009 in a surgery that turned out to be botched and resulted in a myriad of other health issues... but that's a blog entry that deserves its own ramble space.

Technically, I suppose I shouldn't be purely using the term "gallstone" as far as I know. I should be referring to a wider problem called choledocholiathiasis... but I sure as hell don't intend to write that word monster any more times than I absolutely have to so I'll be a sheepish pleb and just refer to the stones if/when discussing the issue.

To put in in layman's terms: I form little pebbles in my bile duct that then drudge along and not only occasionally block said duct but scrape the walls of the duct tunnel resulting in a condition called cholangitis, or inflammation of the bile ducts.

It's sort of insanely painful and messes with your life for days and weeks on end. And now it's time to try and flush that avalanche out of my damn system.

To do so, I'll be suffering through a fast that'll last as long as that stone still remains in my system... starting today, at the peak of the pain which means I have an active inflammation. I'll try to make an overall summary post of it in the end but don't expect it to be a humorous or even marginally good-natured one. 🤣

I'm bound to be in a horrible mood for the next few days so I do apologise in advance if I snap your head off. Unless it's personal, it's not personal. ♥


Back to Basics

Following a slew of problems with my layout, I decided to finally revert back to the Simple theme on Blogger and work with that with my somewhat limited CSS abilities; at least I know the official Blogger support is there in case something starts going awry unlike with the person I got my previous theme from.

Not trying to throw shade here but if you're in the business of offering your services, those services should extend beyond the initial transaction and include help in case your layout that I paid money for doesn't work. Funnily enough, asking for a refund has resulted in Yours Truly being completely blanked; I'm not getting my money back, not ever.

Colour me surprised... not.

I'm unfortunately getting used to people being con artists these days; services like PayPal aren't going to chase people up about fraudulent transactions unless the end sum is somewhere in the ££££'s instead of what's essentially pocket money.

I could raise hell on principle but I don't think I really have the time for it right now, nor can I honestly be arsed. If my £29 made a difference in this person's life, great. I've donated more for causes that turned out to be nothing like advertised, so... look up "bloody gullible" in the dictionary and you'll find my photograph.

And what was the lesson quite firmly learned from all this? My money is not going to anything that isn't double-, triple-verified now, ta~!

So, I survived Mothering Sunday despite being a bit on the fence about my ability to do so. I slept for most of the day and spent the night (with an extra hour of overtime, yay) at work where it was so busy until about midnight that Monday snuck in unnoticed and the dreaded Sunday was soon over.

As you may know (or are about to find out right now!), my mum, Saara, died fairly suddenly and quite traumatically when I was twenty years old.

All my grandparents have passed away, so I lack maternal figures in life which alone can make days like Mother's Day/Mothering Sunday a bit of a bleh to deal with, but to have to sort of keep those feelings of grief in check as well... it makes certain days more of a pain than I'd like. I'm sure eventually it all becomes easier to deal with but right now, I still actively grieve so it's hard to see all the "I love you Mum!" balloons and floral arrangements on shop windows, and all the mother-centric cards in shops etc.

It doesn't help that Mum and I were like oil and water, we just didn't get along so prior to her getting ill (after which she no longer recognised me due to the effect the illness had on her brain -- I was just Hoitaja; nurse) so there's feelings of regret as well.

I know I can't go back and change that, but I really wish I could.

At least I got a chance to say goodbye (I was there in her hospital room when she passed away after a three-month struggle) even if that alone was a super-traumatising experience that no one honestly should have to go through. You should never have to see a loved one die. It at least provides some consolation to know she wasn't alone.

But yeah now I'm just upsetting myself so moving right along! 🤣 I'm on day one of two consecutive days off which is a rarity and a nice one at that. Obviously, I've wasted most of the day by sleeping but that's what you get when you finish at 2AM the previous night which means you're home at 3ish and after everything that needs doing and the fact that you're dumb enough to go on World of Warcraft for "just a few minutes", you end up crawling into bed at 10AM and it sort of didn't help matters much.

I really need to do a day reset somehow because while I am a night owl and I enjoy nocturnal living way more than I enjoy existing during sociable daylight hours, I also have a relationship to think of. Bear doesn't work nights.

This week's a bit easier in terms of hours and finishing times. Starting Wednesday, I'm on 22-06, 17-00, 17-00, 20-04 and 22-07 which are fairly easy, quiet hours. I'll probably end up asking for a bit of  premium pay overtime (what can I say? Bills need paying and I want extra stuff as well) but we'll see. I got more last week than was estimated so that's always good. Right now I'm making about £600 in a fortnight (which is what I was making post-tax in my previous job in a month) which isn't amazing but once I'm trained up -- I'm keen on becoming an in-company trainer -- my pay will go up as well despite trainers primarily being scheduled only to work day shifts.

For now, however, I am doing a bit of a voluntary grind, paying off my credit and my debts and building a nest egg. Once I can handle all aspects of the job from the tills to the kitchen to presentation and assembly, I will be going after short day shifts anyway to pile up the dough. Inb4 complete exhaustion and burnout... 😁😁😁